It takes Our Actions to Make Others' Dreams a Reality

First published in Hamilton Spectator May 3, 2000

When our dreams and hopes come into reality, the sun seems to shine brighter and the rainy days are few and far between. Our steps are that much higher, we develop an inner peace and a joy that comes rushing out to meet and welcome the days that are given to us. When positive circumstances are occurring, people and communities reap a harvest of energy that flows and touches an innermost flame.

Last week, I was having lunch with two guys who are working in my department at the Bloorview MacMillan Centre for a short term. One is from Sweden and the other one is from Japan. We somehow got talking about our biggest dreams in life. My friend from Sweden is in his early twenties, and just trying to figure out what he really wants to do with his life. He asked me what my biggest dream was. Out of nowhere, I said "I am living it right now, I am content doing the things in which I am involved already." I wish you could have seen the shocked look that came over his face by my statement. As I thought about it, I was a little shocked myself. It felt pretty good, however, knowing deep down that I am quite comfortable with my life.

How could I say a thing like that and mean it? After all, I have cerebral palsy, nonverbal at that! I go through my days "fighting" at almost everything I do. I live among people who frequently see my disability before seeing me as a person. So what clicks? Should I spend my life dreaming and hoping of having a "normal" lifestyle without all of the struggles that come with being disabled? I could, and likely everyone would feel I was justified. But the facts are, I will always be a disabled person in this life. I have learned one of life's greatest lessons. I am comfortable with how the Lord daily shakes and molds my journey. I am convinced that He is the potter and I am just the clay. This is why I personally can travel so far and soar so high. It has nothing to do with being disabled, it is the belief with which I live.

However, I do get depressed and disheartened at the lack of compassion and the absence of a sense of duty of many persons within our society. Too often, silent voices and cries go unnoticed. We are daily swooped away by the big headlines that ignore the real heartbreaks, hidden behind closed doors. Let's crack one of these doors open and take a quick look at a family that is representative of many in our community. You are walking into a home where a mother is trying to care for her disabled daughter. She gets some help on a weekly basis but as you talk with her, you find out that this help is shaky at the best of times. The gray hairs are appearing, the aging process is taking place. You can't help but notice the tired and helpless look. You never would ask, but you wonder what the future holds for this family. At the same time you know there are group homes that take care of persons with severe disabilities. So what's the big deal? Just put her name on a waiting list. Simple, right? Don't worry that there has been no government funding for the building of group homes for over five years and that someone must die before a space becomes available.

I think the greatest benefit of living in countries like Canada and Sweden, is the number of opportunities open to so many of us. That's the problem ("problem" in italics) for my friend from Sweden. He, like many in his country and ours, has the privilege of living life with numerous options, having opportunities to move not only in a horizontal direction but also vertical. This means, he can go in whatever direction he wishes and do whatever it takes to realize his dreams We don't think about it, but this is quite amazing and vital to fostering self-worth. It gives many of us the drive and the happiness to keep growing and reaching out personally and as a community.

The story is quite different for those individuals I know, who are confined to their own homes because of their disabilities. Their minds may be moving faster than yours or mine, but they are trapped within bodies that their "normal" minds can't control or master. When it comes to activities they wish to join or places where they might like to live, they have very little say and/or control. Think about this for awhile. You are sitting in a wheelchair looking at those wheels that should be able to propel you where you want to go, but then you look at your shaking hands, whose movements you cannot control. You must go back into your dreams of being able to manipulate a power wheelchair and move independently. This is life, day in and day out, for many persons who are elderly or severely disabled. They can only dream of aspiring to better things (be they educational, residential, recreational, or vocational) and moving vertically. They are confined to moving horizontally, and even within this direction they experience severe barriers. They must depend on us for the realization of their hopes and dreams for opportunities to move in both directions.

We have to ask ourselves how far are we willing to go as a society to ensure everybody ("everybody" in italics) has horizontal and vertical directional opportunities in their life so they can reach for their own dreams. What is this article saying to you? Are these words coming off the page and swaying the way that you think? Will these words become more than just words and transfer into action? I sincerely hope so. For it is action that makes dreams and hopes come into reality. Here is my ("my" in italics) dream that we as a community will learn to take the necessary action to ensure horizontal and vertical movement opportunities for all.